Monday, 27 June 2011


Perspective: For those of a certain age Father Ted was a seminal work.  It described our world so well.  One of my favourite episodes is the one where they end up in the caravan.  Graham Norton was so so funny, clearly destined for great things even then, plus his accent was so like those I grew up with it made it extra funny.  The best bit for me was the lesson on perspective from Father Ted to Dougal.

Almost as good as the bit where he does the whole heaven and hell thing.  Have to find that clip.  Today I have to go to discuss my career options.  I was ok.  I woke up feeling well.  I had it in perspective but now the far away cows are near and not so small as the ones in the clip.  I think I am working myself up into a total panic.  I realised that I have made a very unhealthy association between certain things and panic.  The weather is that same as it was a few moments ago, the washing machine is still whirring away, nothing has changed in my external world.  It is all internal.  So why do we do this to ourselves? I am giving some thought to a return to work plan and a wellness plan and now I am on the next step of the journey. So again I need to whistle a happy tune and remind myself that I need to keep things on perspective.  


don't you just love her dress and his sexy bald head.

I have lots of tools to use in these situations the trick is to use them.   So here they are the tools from recovery Inc will help.  Currently panicking too much to even remember them.  Thinking in ink, Well I am using that right now, So I could use eft but too panicked for that, I could just get up and rush around cleaning and work off the adrenaline.  Probably the best thing and then I will find the list of recovery tools and find a good one to use.  Ah yes, endorse the effort.  the effort has been to get well enough to go from a crying gibbering wreck to being able to meet the personnel officer to discuss how best I can return to full paid employment in a way that I can be happy and give my best to my work.  Pat on the back to me.  We all know how to stay well and get well.  It is there inside us all.  I know how to stay well but the bad habit of allowing myself to indulge my negative thoughts and the buzz of the adrenaline rush of panic.  Why do I forget how to b e kind to myself and  why do I expect people to treat me badly.  Another tool, examine the evidence.  what evidence have I got that today will go badly.  None.  I am in a safe place here in my own little world.  Ah yes the best tool of all creative visualisation, and meditation.  I will get myself into my safe mindset and be brave and take the step forward into the unknown.  Last time I took a leap of faith it was rewarded.  I will centre myself, relax and create a welcome home for myself after the meeting.  How often have I talked others down and into the activity they procrasinate over.  

So just keep swimming. My theme tune for the kids when they want to give up. What do we do we swim swim swim.

So I am off to swim through the next three hours; and the final tool, from Self Help for the nerves: face things and float through it. there we go off to blow bubbles to remind myself to float. 

Happy Monday and send me happy thoughts please I need them.  Today I am going alone in to the breach again.  I am strong and I am capable and there is no such thing as cant. 

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