Friday, 30 September 2011

September scavenger hunt
Postcards for the pp is a wonderful blog and a lovely idea to keep you occupied all month while you take your photos.

This month I decided to look at the photo scavenger hunt list and then not look at it again until the end of the month.  I love to take photos and I also am very interested in how the subconscious works.  In the olden days I would frequently wake up at 6 am with the solution to a problem I could not figure out during the preceding week.  Most of the pictures I uploaded here were as a result of that process except for the first three.  My favourite one of the process is the bowl of fruit.  I felt compelled to take it and just went with the feeling.  Imagine my surprise when I today I saw apples on the list.  Awesome.  So I am now going to use this to my advantage  planting seeds in the subconscious of myself and others but first I need to figure out what flowers I want to grow.  Happy Friday and I hope you like my subconscious photo scavenger hunt. 




 The glow of bright lights are the flood lights
from the local GAA pitch

This lovely creation was made for our bunny to relax in, I was relaxing on my lovely pink lilo.

I was heading out for a morning stroll before work and
saw the piles of earth  as I returned home from the strand.
The track is being widened to accommodate a cycle track.

This is the welcome to Dungarvan sign
on the way into town.
Some old signs  advertising a sewage scheme were
cleverly reused to make this very lovely welcome sign,.

Ah the joys of being 6: snail  harvest

at last the joys of back to school, home economics day

my workspace , view form the eagals nest


something taller than me

something else taller than me

Saturday, 24 September 2011

really fluffy kitten thoughts and consciousness shift

This was shared with me today and I thought it was so lovely.  At the beginning of my episode I wanted to get back to what I had before and it was only when I wanted to leave behind all the stress and ambitions and pursuing of goals that I knew I could get better.  there are so many ways of thinking, so many different views of the world and it is so nice to meet people that share your own views.  As I become more open I realise that people have so much to give and there  i can learn something from everyone.  

I have always loved this song about shifting consciousness .

So today crawl out from under your comfort blanket, or crawl under it if you really really need to.  For the last week I have been thinking alot about the field of dreams, if you build it they will come.  so here come all my dreams to populate my field of dreams. 
Happy Saturday. 

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

sparkley autumn

When you are open to things you see so much.  I have had an ambition for around 20 years to go for a walk before work.  About 20 years ago I discovered that people do that when I was out at around 6 am doing a survey and met some old ladies, (probably around the age i am now), out for a morning walk we got chatting as you do and I discovered that they did an hours walk before work every day.  I always thought how great it would be to be able to get up do nice things and just head out to work as an incidental thing.  We finally I achieved it today.  I am no longer commuting to work and can walk to the office in around 10 minutes.  but even better the 2.5 hours I save can be devoted to me time.  I woke early today and as it was such a beautiful day I decided to go for a walk.  I did not bring my camera so missed taking some beautiful snaps of the fennel, now in seed, glistening with morning dew.  I was concerned that autumn would be the end of my observance of nature but now it seems to have brought out the snails slugs and birds.  The bay is an area of special conservation or something like that because of its bird life.  This morning I watched the oyster catchers fighting and crows paddling in the water eating sea weed.  I saw the rabbits hopping in the morning sun and the smell of the fresh sea air was invigorating,  I could breath again.  Two friends said to me over the last few days that they were giving up on their dreams.  I suppose they are not really, just disheartened by the long wait to achieve them.  I still have dreams, I have so many its unreal.  I have had many dreams since I was a child of so many lovely things that I would do.  I misplaced my dreams for a while, filed somewhere in the back of my mind but with time and patience they returned and when I achieved one today I remembered that day long ago when I thought I would like to do my morning walk.  It was a day not dissimilar to today.  All fresh misty and green and lovely.  Life without dreams is like rhubarb without custard, fish without chips, ice cream without the cherry on top, still nice but not awesome.

Although non religious, I am a believer in universal consciousness and I love religious music of all types.  Oh yes I belonged to a church choir as a child and loved the Easter ceremonies.  

So off you go today and remember your dreams, if you built it they will come.

Happy Tuesday and happy dreaming. 

Sunday, 18 September 2011

mammy bears chair

I had an epiphany, not just a realiseation, for most of my life I didn't mind.  Thats OK I would say, oh Ill do that myself , we can do it another time, don't worry about me ill be fine.  Now I am reasonably assertive and prone to wanting my own way but if given a sob story my natural kindness would kick in and I would fall for it.  BUT NO MORE.  I had one of the weirdest weeks of my life for a while.  I had a light to Damascus moment in my kitchen when I discovered the shocking quality of work someone was trying to palm off on me.  I got more in that moment than in all the tapping, meditating etc I have been doing.  My counseller says to me on a regular basis when you do not stay with yourself that is when you get in trouble.  I really did not own and feel that.  Yes I had all the I matter stuff intellectually but I could never answer the question , how do show you matter.  Now I realised it.  Some things are far from ok.  Some things that are far from ok I have tolerated for years.  Now I can see that held me back.  This last week I have become aware of so much of the daily manipulation I let was over me.  Why did I give people the impression that I didn't matter.  As my friend said the other day remember there is a girl called Jane there too.  When I was in my early twenties my friend cancelled a night out we had planned as her boyfriend turned up unexpectedly.  I really did not mind.  But her Dad did, he told me that I should mind and that what she did was not ok.  I puzzled over that for years well Dave I you were right.  My friend kept doing that and we are no longer friends.  It was because I could not express my hurt at being taken for granted.  Now every time I hear someone say thats ok I cringe.  Some times it is not and I need to recognise that.  I love all things sparkley and when I am well I like to think of myself as sparkly.  I lost my sparkle this time last year.  Over the last few days people have started to remark about how well I look and today I caught a glimpse of the old sparkly me in the mirror.  Maybe its my new eye cream, maybe its my three days sleep, maybe its something else, maybe I am finally learning how to be true to myself and not allow others to control me anymore.

I have been thinking all week of what I can do to add ease to my life.  I thought of a lovely chair to sit in while I crochet or read.  I spotted this chair in a magazine and immediately thought of the Mammy bears chair that I always wanted.  I always wondered as a child how any chair could be too soft.  I hope to find/or recreate this beautiful thing for this mammy.  So I pulled out lots of old clothes and fabrics to see what I can cannibalise to cover an old chair.  I have lots of pieces of fabric chopped up now in the hope I will be inspired to form something as lovely as that. 

So go off and listen to yourself and others this week.  How often do you show people that you don't matter to yourself when you accept anything but what is best for you and for your well being.  What ever you do this week do it for yourself and do it with passion.  A life without passion is a life not lived. 

Tuesday, 13 September 2011

valley of vung

oh holy mother of god what a week, wish I was still catholic so that I could offer it up.  This week I have been mostly experience anger.  That awful wanting to injure someone wanting to scream red boiling hot anger.  I had forgotten what that was like.  I expressed it, road rage, general grumpiness with the world, shouting at the kids when they misbehaved, giving out to anyone who dared cross me.  I turned into a total harpi.  And for what.  I found it hard to rid myself of it.  At first I thought it was justified.  I was wronged I had every right to be angry but in being angry I was loosing myself and letting my feelings control me.  So yesterday I decided it was back to basics again.  I tried the things that helped me first time around.  Aromatherapy, long soak in the bath, a walk and yes you guessed it I started to feel better.  My anger finally dissolved in flood of tears as i finally realised that I was not really angry just very sad and hurt by how a member of my family was treating me.  Sometimes I still cannot name that feeling but I am getting better.  I worked through it.  I just kept doing something until I felt better.  i spent almost the whole weekend in bed.  I get very drained when confronted with hurt feelings.  But it is ok to be hurt.  I did not deserve to be treated like that and when I finally recognised that then I was able to acknowledge my real feelings.  I am a kind person and that is often seen as a weakness by others.  But it is my strength really.  I suppose it all goes back to the power of allowing myself to be vulnerable.  I am kind and caring and there is nothing wrong with that.   It     is when I allow others to take advantage of that that the problems arise.

So I am off to find my courage.  One of my favourite extracts from a Dr Seuss book :

Then I started back home
To the Valley of Vung.
I know I’ll have troubles.
I’ll, maybe, get stung.
I’ll always have troubles.
I’ll, maybe, get bit
By that Green-Headed Quail
On the place where I sit.
But I’ve brought a big bat.
I’m all ready, you see.
Now my troubles are going
To have trouble with me!

Not exactly peace harmony and forgiveness but inspirational none the less ;-)

Happy Tuesday

And now for something completely different

Wednesday, 7 September 2011

what next again

I am having a real what next moment.  I returned to work and happily settled into my new job only in time to hear that there will be a reshuffle,  we will know on Friday what that means.  One of the few certainties in life is that there will always be change.  I love to read the tarot and the cards are divided between major and minor arcana.  Major arcana represent outside forces, things over which we have no control, and the minor arcana are like the ordinary playing cards with court cards and numbered cards.  Theses represent people or stages of our journey along a particular path.  It is so like the serenity prayer.  My mother has that on her mantle piece much to my fathers horror.  It was a gift from a religious friend of hers but for my father he thought that it would make people think we were alcoholics, it being a prayer of alcoholics anonymous, no idea why he thought that as nothing could be further from the truth.  

God grant me the serenity 
to accept the things I cannot change;
 courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

There are things we can control in our lives; we have control over our own thoughts, our reactions, our attitudes, how we behave so many many things.  We are responsible for ourselves.  But there are also outside forces and things we cannot control, the economy, our families, friends, other people, the weather, again a very long list.  The key to well being is to be able to know the difference.    

I am currently dealing with many things outside of my control, my job, my teenage daughter being thte two most demanding ones.  But I can control myself and keep a positive attitude, accept the things I cannot change, and work on the things I can.  I heard an ad on the radio yesterday about better business making a 1% improvement in everything you do rather than aiming for 100% in one thing.  For me it is like the "be average" concept in Recovery Inc.  For me sometimes it is all or nothing, the best or the worst.  Instead I now strive to be average.  How would an average person do this I often ask myself and all becomes clear.  Life as an average Jane is so much better than trying to be the best Jane ever.  By making choices that support my well being and by making small incremental changes life is getting easier.  I have survived the last few what nexts, watershed moments in my life.  But those moments can be a molehill of a mountain depending on attitude.  

So I will practice being average, making the 1% improvements needed to reach my goal which is quite a large one, getting the children and myself into a pleasant morning and evening routine, one that leave us all with time to enjoy life and not enjoy being a loving family.  High notions like the goats in Kerry as my granny would say but it is such a simple thing that so far has eluded me.  
perhaps I need to approach this in the same way as I would a project.  One of the many things I learned over the last year was to use the skills I have in one area of my life in other areas of my life.  

So I am off to think of all the things that go into making any successful project, its time for me to use my determination and patience and planning skills to bring that project to life.  Earlier today I was thinking about writing about the concept of erotic capital that I came across in the weekends paper.  Isnt it amazing how thinking in ink helps so much.  

Happy Wednesday 

Sunday, 4 September 2011

absolutely no assumptions

Today I had a setback, no matter how hard I tried I just could not shake myself out of my funk.  So when someone rang for a chat and said how are you I told them.  I am having a bit of a hard time today.  Instead of the usual list of advise I got the following comment; Well i heard you were not doing so great today so I just rang to offer you my support.  Wow I was not expecting that.  A lesson for us all there, I assumed I would get a big lecture on how its all my fault that my daughter is going a bit wild again but no, this time I got just what I needed a listening ear and support.  How often do we avoid things because we assume they will turn out in a particular way, how often do we assume that others will be negative when in fact the opposite happens.  Assume nothing.  Be open and learn to listen to others and just as importantly to yourself.

Happy Sunday. So next time you are screening your calls and someone rings and you decide not to answer them , think again, are you assuming something, maybe you can tell them that you are busy or tired or having a bad day and maybe they will surprise you.

no assumptions

After a very trying few weeks and a real feeling of confusion and wondering what was in my subconscious trying to get out I had a realisation: I make too many assumptions.  It was astonishing what it felt like to realise that.  I love the old saying assume makes an ass of u and me.  Then I watched myself for the last few days and decided to notice when I made the assumptions.  Wow was I in for some shock.  I assumed so much.  I thought that I was open but I was so wrong.  Certainly I was fairly open to ideas but now it is like a big giant light being switched on.  Assume nothing.  I had one house rule which went along way to describing how I would like people to behave in my home: Respect.  Now I have a new second rule: No assumptions.  If in doubt, ask for clarification.  I hope it makes my life even easier again.  My goal in life is to make life easy for myself.  That means that all activities take place with the minimum fuss and hassle and in a way that is as enjoyable as possible.  I have even managed to find an easy way to wash the floor with my wonderful new mop/floor cleaning thing.  I has one cloth to wash and one to dry.  Clean floors are finally within my grasp. now to find an easy way of putting away the washing, maybe a robot or perhaps I could get someone to train one of the pets or even, God forbid, I could train the children.  Think I need a train the trainer course on how to do that. 

Friday, 2 September 2011





  • a boat
  • a festival or funfair
  • a fountain
  • a picnic
  • a sport
  • bread
  • fabric
  • market
  • mountains
  • something ancient
  • something bizarre
  • street food

   There were alot of changes in my life this month.  My daughter changed schools, I returned to work, I started to socialise again.  The biggest change though, apart from the fact that I have to wear shoes and office appropriate clothes in stead of flipflops, maxi dresses or beach appropriate wear,  has to be that I lost my camera battery charger and could not take any pictures for a couple of weeks.  It brought home to me just how much taking pictures has helped me become well again. A photograph is more than just a facsimile of a particular thing, it is a representation of how we view the world.  My daughter joined me on the scavenger hunt for the last photo of the mountains and helped me take some photos.  It was amazing how different the pictures were even though they were taken at almost the same time and inthe same place.  These are not just photos but snapshots of our lives.   I did have to improvise a little but its more about the fun of finding new things around us and looking for them than getting an exact picture of something. 

  • a boat: I love living by the sea.  The tide was very high the day I took this in an area of the harbour known as the pond. 

  • a festival or funfair: this I had to cheat on a little as I missed all the festivals due to my lack of a fully charged camera.  This is from the tall ships visit in July.

  • a fountain

Could not decide which one of these to put up so put up both.  I left the watermelon out to attract the wasps after a picnic lunch.  I left it there as it attracted so many butterflies which I love.

  • a sport: Loads of sports to choose from here but although I dont sail it is very popular here.  The annual lifting in and out of the boats is a real mark of the beginning and end of good weather.  

Bread: Hmmmmm yes the blob of butter strategically located behind the dog is ment to be there.  Some food art from my youngest one summer morning breakfast. 

  • I was cleaning out the wardrobes getting ready to put away summer clothes and remembered the photo scavenger hunt.  I love the green silk the best but unfortunately teenage daughters dress not mine. 

A bit of a cheat again here street market from july festival.

The Monavollagh mountains above and the ancient settlement of Ardmore below.  Ardmore's round tower is in the distance and it is well worth a visit.  The up close photo of the round tower was taken earlier in the year. 

Carving of Adam and Eve

  • something bizarre: This is in fact the awesomest and weirdest thing I ever saw.  It is a swimsuit spinner. It was in the hotel pool changing room and so handy but never ever saw one before in all my travels.  

  • street food: Elderberries on the side of the road, technically street food. 

   Septembers list from postcards from the pp:

     Back to school
the football/soccer season
what's in your bag?
a pile of things
your desk/workspace
a public telephone box
something taller than you
a road sign
a view from above