Thursday, 29 March 2012

standing still in my red shoes

Today it was warm enough to put on my favourite red shoes.  They are open toes, sling back red patent leather wedge heeled pedro mirales shoes with a square silver buckle.  They are my favourite shoes.  They were kept for best wear until last summer when I was fairly broke and could not afford new shoes so they were down graded to everyday use.  I loooove my red shoes.  I was heading out of the office and I realised I was feeling a bit better.  I did not go to work in the morning as I still felt very foggy headed and was concerned that I might make a serious mistake or say something I should not.  But after I got dressed int my red shoes I felt braver.  I was getting into the lift when I saw my reflection in the mirror and I realised I looked well, no one would realise that I was a foggy brained mess.  My red shoes smiled at me and I started to hum the David bowie lets dance.  Sometimes it is enough to look as if we are OK , rather like the architectural concept that form follows function maybe ?

It is the pervading law of all things organic and inorganic, of all things physical and metaphysical, of all things human and all things superhuman, of all true manifestations of the head, of the heart, of the soul, that the life is recognisable in its expression, that form ever follows function. This is the law.

Sometimes the whole act as if things are OK and things will be OK escapes me but today I realised that sometimes its enough just to show up and make the effort and eventually things improve.  I met today's deadline, maybe if I had gone to work yesterday my brain would have been way too foggy to think clearly enough to do it.  Today's most important task was in fact a simple one but as I always say even rocket science is easy for a rocket scientist.  I know that there is always a solution to every problem, it is just a question of finding it.  I am currently looking for a solution to my daughters non attendance at school.  We seem to have reached a compromise with all concerned and that is enough for now.  Baby steps are enough for now.  We will get there in the end. 

Thank you universe for my lovely shoes, for the wonderful music, for the fine weather, solar flares (even if they are driving my crazy), the kids, the sea sand and even the dog poo.  Sometimes standing still is the best way to move forward.  So I persevere, I stand still for a moment just so that I can I keep going in my lovely red shoes.  

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