Saturday, 19 November 2011

living without anxiety

Overcoming trans-generational conditioning is the greatest achievement of my life.  I always hated the classic interview question; what is your greatest achievement.  It was one I was never comfortable with.  Since I overcame my conditioning to be modest and not boast I could list so many achievements.  Last week my mother came to stay as my children were ill.  I was more than a little stressed about it as she tends to criticise and I used to feel so inadequate.  I have learned to expect to feel well.

I have learned not to panic when confronted with a change of plan or difficult situation.  I have learned to accept my limitations.  I have learned to accept myself.  I watched my mother start to panic as I had no definite arrangements made for who would mind the children the day she was leaving.  I realised that it was just a small thing and arrangements could be made, there were options and there was no need to panic.  It is so nice to be back to my normal optimistic self.  The one who believed if you plan it it will happen, the one who believes that the world is full of possibilities, that there is a solution for everything.  Its nice to be well and its better to be better.

So today why not take the time to look at the things you do well, your greatest achievements and pat yourself on the back for your efforts. 


  1. Excellent advice. Congratulations on your overcoming what life (and family) have dished out to you. Change comes to us all if we are open to it. Isn't it ironic how so many people get comfortable in their suffering so that they can't let go of what is obvious discomfort? They are the ones with so much "drama" in their lives, always the victim, their life one big "reality show" that insists we play a role. We needn't "please" people who demand that we share their anxiety, even if they are family. Of course, that's a big step to make toward personal realization and fulfillment, never easy. Good for you for taking that step.

  2. You know what? I bet that with all the lessons you've learned from your Mother about what NOT to be or NOT to do, you will be and ARE a fabulous Mom! I am a Mother to one very independent 22 year old. I was not allowed to be independent as a child. My Mom made sure that I needed her. I turned inside out to make her happy and not disappoint her because she withdrew her love for long periods of time if I wasn't perfect. I still have a hard time listing achievements as I too was conditioned not to boast. I have a very difficult time with attention paid to me as I don't feel I deserve it. But I CAN boast that I took what I didn't like about the woman who raised me and turned it into a lesson of who I needed to be as a Mother to make my daughter feel all the things I never felt. And I stand tall and proud when I tell you that she loves me dearly - not because I expect it but because I've earned it. She's well adjusted and a very lovely human being. So from the depths of despair, Jane, I believe we rise above it all and find the good to be had from the lesson. As always, a wonderful post from you! I SO love what you write! You're like listening to a great bring thoughts out in me that I might not have thought of otherwise! Hugs, Annette

  3. thanks annette and vicki, all we can do is the best we can with what we have and be open to change, so much is possible if you are open to it. Self acceptance feels good. Better late than never:-)