Friday, 25 November 2011

the critical parent without:-staying with yourself

Transactional analysis is a marvelous tool.  I worked for a while on the critical parent within, but what about the critical parent without;-  Actual parents and those who communicate with me through the critical parent style.  I had a very bad moment recently where I fell , or perhaps dissolved into adapted child mode.  I abandoned myself and was no longer in my adult.  Wow it felt good letting fly, I lost all sense of my well practised recovery tools, my NLP training, my long year of self actualisation and my newly learned patience.  I let fly and behaved like a child, I had a good old fashioned rant.  I suppose I should be thankful that I managed to get back to my adult self within an hour of the incident, but wow did it take some work.  

Sometimes we slip back to bad ways, sometimes we let our emotions get the better of us.  When this happens I have been trained to ask myself what am I not doing for me? and in this case the answer was I was not exercising.  Then I would have burned off all those nasty stress hormones and not lapsed into the behavior of a cross child.  But there are lessons in everything.  The lesson for me in this case was to be more aware of how I react to peoples communication styles.  To be cautious in my dealing with others.  To learn new phrases and ways of dealing with those who communicate in critical parent mode,  and most important of all not to dwell on mishaps; to recover and move on quickly.  I must give myself a pat on the back for doing just that and hope that I spot it better then next time. 

So tonight I will reflect on what I am not doing for me and when I get the answer I will do it.

Happy Friday and happy thanksgiving to all my american friends out there. 

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