Kids are sick, nanny is sick, i am bored and fed up. Sometimes I forget to pace myself and then wham life reminds me to do that. On the front page of my diary I wrote: slow down, breath, smile, just to remind myself to do just that. I am fairly vigilant about not taking on too much but not taking on enough can be just as bad for me. What is there to do now that it is almost winter and the pleasures of the long evenings are gone and the weather is yeuch. Today was spent mostly yawning. Yawning is important. The first time I encounter a comment on yawning was from a very charming expat colleague who told me that yawning was a sign of fear or tiredness and wondered which it was, others say that it is releasing trapped emotions, so i decided to google it. Ah yes the oracle google but I could not get a wholly satisfactory answer. I am concluding that it is lack of fresh air. Or maybe it is just pure boredom of being cooped up inside all day working. So I did what any demented mammy would do when faced with such a situation, order pink fluffy angora wool online and dream up designs of flower covered crochet blankets for her nearest and dearest and their pets, oh and look up weekend getaways to escape from her loving family. Wish the fecking recession was over so I could squander the winter heating oil money on a trip away.
On balance it is wonderful to be weighted down by the trivialities of life it means that I am no longer depressed, I am no longer anxious just plain old grumpy. Sometimes we need a little nudge to realise that we do need to slow down and be bored just to appreciate how good life can be. Maybe I was just getting to like beige too much. One of the best colour experiences of my life was seeing Matisse's The Dance. I love it that it appears in this video with one of my favourite childhood songs.