My return to the world of work has been smooth. Its smoothness created by my new found ability to communicate. Part of my new job is to create a smooth transition for the restructuring of our organisation. Recently my mood started to drop. Mostly I felt I was tired but then that is understandable. So I thought about ways I can help myself gain more energy. It is easy to fall into old familiar patterns in times of stress and tiredness. It is important for me to recognise the difference between mental fatigue, lack of sleep, and emotional tiredness. I am learning to stay with myself and not to be overly influenced by others and this is an emotional drain. For me it is hard work to say no, to express my feelings, to be appropriate and not to share my crazy thoughts with everyone, to resist giving into my daughters when I know I should not, previously I felt that I should not find these things hard and berated myself for not being better.
It is important that I remember that I set things up for myself so that I could get through the low moods. I found thing that work on a very basic level; a walk in the fresh sea air, a bath, aroma therapy, crochet, a funny film. I suppose the thing that is the most effective is music. I have a whole load of playlists set up each one chosen to change my mood, ones for relaxing, ones for energising.
When we are well it is important to plan for the days when we are not. Planning ahead was something I abandoned during the episode, tow days ahead are about as much as I couls do. Now I think it is time for me to put together a wellness recovery action plan. so that I have laid out the stepping stones for myself across the troubled waters. For me the best thing is to do for now is to accept the dip in mood, to to the important things, like eat properly, clean up, tell people that I am having a hard time, and accept my limitations. Soon I will be back on form again and all will be well.
So today I accept my limitations. As they say "the man who made time made plenty of it".