Friday, 22 July 2011

letting go of fear of judgement

How many times do we stop what we are doing for fear of judgement.  Today I have plans but am too nervous to get going because I fear the judgement of others.  It is my own need for things to be perfect that drive me and my fear of the judgement of others is just a projection of myself.  I am being very critical because I should have done certain things before now.  I forgot to endorse the efforts I have made.  I know that should is a self critical word and I need to praise rather than critcise myself.

Why do we all forget to praise ourselves, Catholic guilt is mostly is what I blame, but not learning how to set realistic goals, taking on too much, lack of proper planning, having too high an expectation of our-self, failure to prioritise.  All this is a learned behavior which I am unlearning and replacing with behavior which contributes to my wellbeing.  I know what is triggering this slip and I am going to do what needs to be done to stop it and get back on track.  I never allowed myself to relax after stressful or demanding evens and had the mistaken belief that I am superwoman.  So today I will remember to try easier not harder.  I will be gentle with myself and others.  I will put my practice into action and remember that my well being is my main priority.  So today I will let go of judgement, of myself and others and let go of my fear of judgement.  I have all I need to be well and happy and I praise myself for my progress and ongoing efforts to stay well.  Having fun is an essential part of life.  Life is as difficult as you make it for yourself.  

I worked hard on making my life easier and it is.  I just need to remember to stick with my own plans and desires and not listen to those who say you should do this and that.  I can do everything I need to do easily if I remind myself that I can. 

So I am off to have another easy day of fun and laughter and let go of my fear of judgement and the straight jacket of other peoples expectations.  I am still me and loving it.

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