When I used to feel at my lowest one of the many things I used to think about was what a disappointment it would be for my younger self to see me like this. As a child I had great expectations and during my thirties I lost them. Thankfully I am back to being myself and now I would be very proud to have a visit from my young self.
The lesson I have learned this week is that the only obstacle to my happiness is me and my failure to give myself permission. I have made some amazing steps forward in the last three weeks. In order for this not to be a one off event I need to learn from what I did to create this success.
I think the main thing is to be open about my limitations and express my feeling of hurt and anger in an assertive when when they did occur. In the past I would have clammed up and been upset for days if someone said boo to me but now I realise that what someone says can be mis-intererated so easily and often I do not understand what they really mean.
I now notice others who are struggling with self expression in the same way I did and those that lack the self awareness of their behavior. If I have improved so much in the last year I can only wonder where my life will go now. I am giving myself the freedom to be me exactly as I am. I am a wonderful person with many great qualities and I am glad to be me. Self praise is no praise is a limiting belief that I now reject. I have every reason to be proud of my achievements and I congratulate myself on the work I have done to recover my memory, my abilities, and my sanity. At the end of the day we all create our own lives and we are the ones responsible for how our life turns out. I have been on a real roller coaster of emotions as the world is swinging back towards an environmental where morals are returning and honesty is again being valued. I am enjoying my life for the first time in many years and I am glad to be me.
So today go off and congratulate yourself on all your achievements big and small. Endorse the effort and not the outcome as they say in Recovery. You are a wonderful human being and you deserve to be happy :-)