Friday, 6 January 2012

oiche nollig na mban: womens christmas & other celebrations

The 6th of January has always been celebrated as women's Christmas where I come from.  Its the girls night out for Christmas and when the last of the cake etc is finished off before the decorations are taken down and the whole Christmas thing is over.  This year I stayed at home and it was strange but pleasant.  I hibernated.  I wanted to hibernate for a while and as I have a cold and was sick I indulged my total hibernation.  I got a little concerned that I was depressing but I just went with it.  Who decided how I behave? - me, I do.  I had been listening to others about what I should do and almost went with them.  Instead I stayed in bed until after lunch, listened to the radio, read magazines, had lots of tea and toast, watched looooads of tv, and only got up and did things that were absolutely necessary.  I did not do my usual Christmas visits.  I feel renewed.  Sometimes its hard to know the difference between low mood,  actual tiredness, and physical illness.  I think it was all three for me.  Its the first year in ages that I have not got a few new years resolutions written down.  I live for lists, lists of what to do, where to go, what to buy, I could not function without a list.  

So my list of new years resolutions are finally here
1.  Take action, so many times I need to feel a certain way before I do something.  This year I am taking action even when I don't feel like it.  This is helping me to break the thoughts -feelings-actions cycle that drags me down to inaction.  Avoid avoidance is the complementary resolution.  Avoidance is my tragic pattern of dealing with difficult stuff. I just don't do it.  Avoidance is the opposite of action so I will avoid it.
2. Create things to look forward to.  Life can be bleak without things to look forward to.  There are so many occasions to celebrate, long forgotten things to look forward to.  I have not celebrated women's Christmas for years and tonight I will.  We have loads of reasons to have fun and enjoy life so why be miserable.
3. Learn to cook a new dinner every month.  I am stuck in a cooking rut.  Same things over and over again.  Variety is the spice of life and who knows I might find new flavours.  This month it is roast duck.  They were marked down to half price on Christmas eve so I have one in the freezer but have no idea what to do with it.  Many happy hours have been spent researching the ultimate roast duck dinner. 
4. Watching my triggers.  I am actively working on getting my sparkle back.  I was sinking into a less than sparkly mood in December.  I learnt all sorts of ways to save myself from the downward decent into blahs.  That yucky feeling of greyness that precedes depression.  So to echo resolution 1 I am taking action.  Yes its back to basics, smell- the aromatherapy oils are out, texture- lovely linen sheets I was saving for I don't know what  are on my bed, activities that make me sweat yes even hoovering can do that, and most importantly being kind to myself.  There are good triggers and bad triggers.  Some of my good triggers are sunshine and creative pursuits, my bad triggers are critical people and drizzle.  

Today's list of things to take action on are: post hibernation clean up and to make a list of everything I am avoiding at the moment.  Action creates its own rewards.

Happy New Year

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