Friday, 17 May 2013

when in the jungle don't forget to use your machete

I sat down this morning to write up a proposal for one of the many ideas that are certain to drive me crazy if I don't get them out of my head and down on paper.  One of the proposals is for an art exhibition related to the change of the way local government is delivered.  As I was writing up the proposal or funding and support I realized that I was in fact describing how I felt about myself and my place in the world.  The idea is all about the loss of our town boundary and the amalgamation of all the local councils into one larger council.  I started by writing out the germination of the idea which has been floating around in my head for about a year in many different forms.  As I wrote I realised that all the things  was writing was really applicable to my growth as a person and my belief system that has developed out my my own loss of identity.  I am working around my people pleasing behaviours and was questioning why I felt the need to work on this idea and promote a sense of identity for the town and realised how important identity was for me.

I also realised that t my need to use all my talents to the best of my ability was being satisfied in a way that consolidated my identity and how I view myself in the world rather than how I satisfied my belief around my talents previously.  Previously I felt that it was a sin not to use all my abilities and went done the road of using the talents that other people identified as my best.  I realised that they were seeing in me something of them selves and directing me in a way they would have liked to have followed.  My father would have liked to have had to opportunity for a technical education, instead he funded the education of hi younger brother.  My mother gave up ON her dreams as she realised it was too hard, and I was encouraged by her to think that if you put your mind to it you could do anything.  I had a major breakthrough the other day when my inner child aged around ten years in a week.  now she is a teenager and as a teenager she is minding and bringing along all the other lite inner children who need her help.  Our role as parents is to help our children find their way in the world and guide them as best we can.  Some of us know where the best paths are and some of us have to thrash around in the jungle of life to ind our way.  so today I am off to find my machete and hack out my own path in the hope that when I find my way others will too.

Happy Friday apologies for spelling and lack of editing, had to down load this from my brain so I could function today. 

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