Thursday, 14 February 2013

Ginger beer

Sitting in bed drinking ginger beer about to read the next chapter of jilly copper , thinking back over the year. This time last year I could never have predicted all the great and awful things I did. I feel another episode comming on and don't know what to do. Should I rest should I exercise. Should I take to my bed drink ginger beer and read trashy books , what should I do??? so as usual I thought it was time to blog. I looked back on some old posts for the sign posts to show me the other way forward, the one that leads me away from depression. I found lots of clues but no real definate answer . I found some of the tools I forgot. Today was a spectacularly difficult day. I was reminded of the incident that triggered last years episode and how I forgot one of the best spots to use. Recovery inc works on the basis that we treat our mental health as a business and not a game. I know I am feeling unwell when I get an image of a frightened child hiding at my feet. My poor little 6 year old self is still with me and wants to tell me something. I must remember to allow her to whisper it to me next time she appears.  Inner child work helped me recover so well. It is most unfortunate she only appears when I am at work.
So how to move forward perhaps if I just stand still moving forward will take care of itself.  There only is now. So there it is I need to stay in the now, I need to make time to listen to my inner child, I need to be brave and stay in my adult.  Oh and happy valentines day :) 

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