living life and loving it

I attended a family function this weekend.  In previous times I would have felt inadequate when I returned home as I feel I never used to live up to the expectations of my family.  But this time it did not matter what their expectations were , this time it was all about me and my children being ok being there as ourselves and not conforming to the expectations of others.  I have tried to raise my daughters to be them selves, but at the ceremony this weekend the priest reminded us that children live what they see.  It did not matter how many times i told my girls that they were ok just as they were, they saw me contorting myself to try to please others and they followed suit.  This week my daughter asked me what she should do if a particular member of the family disapproved of her outfit and I finally realised how I had passed on my feelings of inadequacy to her.  So I told her- sweetie if they don't like us we will leave, why would we want to spend time with people who are not ok enough in themselves to be ok with us as we are.  And so we went and we stayed.  So what, she has blue hair, so what, I went off to watch the bats feeding at the lake to the amusement of the relatives and their neighbours but I had a good time and I am sure that my children did too.  And I am sure that my family can explain to anyone who questioned if we were all crazy that no we are not and I have a letter to prove that.
so what if you are a little odd, so what if you look a little different , go off and live your life for yourself because when all is said and done there is only one person in your life whose opinion on you really counts and that is your own.  Its nice to live life as myself again and whats more I am enjoying it.

Happy middle of the night on Monday night .